If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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