Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
you will always have a special place in my vag
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
