Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
