new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
