i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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