She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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