Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
