We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
