Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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