Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
