somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
