oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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