last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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