Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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