The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
