I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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