hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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