May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
