The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
