Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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