My hair reeks of homosexuality.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
as a side note pls kill me
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
