found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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