Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
