i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
