did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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