Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
