i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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