I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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