I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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