We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
This baby is an asshole
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
