no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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