At least make sure they are 18
Why
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
