I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The adults are the big ones right?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
