yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
