Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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