Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize