he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize