But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
