Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
