try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
