One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
