I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
