I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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