Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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