Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
