his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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