It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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