Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
