I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
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