I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
