what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
