yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
